


Muscle memory

by kissed



Category: Jin Akanishi, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Jincident, KATTUN, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissed/pseuds/kissed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What kame should have said when jin told him he's leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Muscle memory

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first akame fic. i am new to the fandom but i fell in love with this pairing almost instantly and i hate that i'm always a late bloomer in these kinds of things. comments are appreciated ♥

muscle memory  
akame  
summary: what kame should have said when jin told him he's leaving.

 

 

 **i**. _Okay then. Good luck._

Is what Kame said when Jin told him he’s leaving for America to make his dreams come true and that he talked to Johnny and that he can’t go back to KAT-TUN anymore and everything that he had now will be _gone._

Everything.

Kame knows he should be alarmed. Should be annoyed or angry at Jin for suddenly making those serious decisions without the bands’ consent. But Jin’s never done things the normal way; he should have expected this from Jin somehow. At some point of their lives, Jin was going to shock them sometime.

But all Kame felt was nothing and he said what first popped into his head.

Okay then. Good luck. Is what he said when Jin told him everything.

“Okay. Goodbye,” is what Jin said as soon as Kame told him those empty words. Maybe Jin had expected something more but what was Kame supposed to say? There was nothing Kame can say to make Jin stay, he’s made up his stubborn mind and he’s not going to change it any time soon and the conditions were done, contracts signed, people contacted.

What was he supposed to do? Jin’s already out the door when he realizes he’s said the lamest last words to his fri-.. to Jin.

Nothing memorable, nothing extraordinary, just pure plain empty shit fucking words.

Maybe sorry was a nice thing to say. Sorry because he’s not strong enough to let all those information sink into him like a sponge. Sorry because he didn't notice Jin’s struggling, sorry because.. Just because.

Or maybe a goodbye was nice too. Goodbye? Kame couldn't bring himself to say those words when he knows he’s not sincere. Maybe never; because he just can’t say goodbye to Jin no matter what he’s done to him.

Okay so maybe a Good luck wasn't a bad choice too. It’s safe, it’s.. Sure. Unlike Kame, it’s reassuring. At least Jin will know Kame’s happy for him. He just hopes Jin gets the message of his lame last words.

 **ii.** _I need you. Don’t go._

Is what Kame should have said when Jin told him that one important night that he’s going away and he’s never coming back. He says he’s going to pursue his dream of being a musician, _but you are a musician you brat_ , Kame says but Kame knows what Jin means.

Jin gives him a lope sided smile whenever he would call him names. Kame knows Jin’s favorite is brat and Kame knows when to use that name and when not to use it, and right now Jin is not being a brat. He didn't earn the stupid excuse of a pen name. Brat is when he’s good and right now, Jin is just being an asshole.

Kame’s flipping the pages of an old magazine when he’s got tendencies of thinking about Jin and usually the magazines work; getting distracted mostly by the outfits paired like its some scrapbook and not an elite magazine. Vivi makes vogue look like a kindergarten made magazine and these are the times Kame is proud to be Japanese. But right now, Kame just _really_ wants to think about Jin.

Well, this isn't new because Jin has always been the kind to push things until he gets what he wants. Never mind that people call him a spoiled ungrateful bastard, he doesn't mind people call him names although sometimes even though he doesn't admit it, it hurts his not so obvious soul.

And right now, Kame is giving what Jin wants. Well.. The Jin that’s inside Kame’s brain (and possibly, heart. Kame is not sure)

“You’re being an ass again,” Kame mutters even though he’s alone in his posh bachelor’s pad with all the boring grey and navy blue shade everyone sees in those supposed to be manly magazines. He needs to stop buying those useless shits anyways.

The lights are low and the beats of some of his dj friends are in the background just to make enough noise to not make him deaf and if there’s one thing Kame doesn’t like other than Jin leaving and his old baby pictures, it’s silence.

Jin did a good job of eliminating all the silence Kame avoided. Jin did a lot of things Kame couldn't do. Like maybe leave everything behind to pursue something he always dreamt of, something he always wanted. Even if leaving everything behind meant leaving Kame too.

Jin’s done a lot of things that Kame couldn’t do.

Kame’s done a lot of things for Jin that Jin overlooked.

It’s okay. Kame’s used to it, Jin always thought of himself first and Kame's just fucking used to it. He’s not surprised anymore; his heart knew when to get hurt and when to endure. Muscle memory.

But Kame knows he’s weak and he’s a coward for not telling Jin what he wanted to hear. Sometimes Jin just needs to hear it, to reassure himself. But Kame’s pride got the best of him maybe because he’s just so damn tired of enduring that maybe Jin will change his mind if he sees his face. His confused face; but he didn’t, and Kame wonders why he even thought Jin would notice.

He knows he’s done, Jin’s in a better place now. Well, he hopes he’s in a better place now. He hasn’t talked to him ever since. It’s been three years and fifteen days. Not like Kame’s counting but his manager keeps this huge wall calendar in the practice room and fills it in with pink X marks denoting Jin’s days since he left KAT-TUN.

Kame overlooks the fact that he’s the reason why those pink X marks exist. Their manager just continued it when Kame ran out of pink pentel to write on the tacky wall calendar of NEWS.

But right now, all Kame wants to do is give in and let Brain!Jin meddle with his thoughts and maybe let him tinker with his heart too because God knows how much he misses calling someone a brat, a lazy ass or whatever bad pen name he can think of.

And now that Jin’s gone, Kame just wants to endure every little thing again instead of having to endure nothing at all.

 

\--

author's note: this is my first akame fic. i am new to the fandom but i fell in love with this pairing almost instantly and i hate that i'm always a late bloomer in these kinds of things. comments are appreciated ♥


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